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   Abortion Debates
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       Another perspective

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ConventionNow

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Ok, so i have been reading through many of your topics and i've gathered that many of you are pro-life and i just want you to hear my story...
My mum suffered with 3 miscarriages during a year and a half which devestated her and me, therefore making my love for unborn children much stronger, so then when i was 15 i met my first 'real' boyfriend, he was 17 at the time and he was everything to me. I lost my virginity to this boy when i was 16 and and contraception was always used, then i fell pregnant at..at 16! This didnt sink in untill a few weeks after, and i went to my doctor who confirmed this. After everthing that happened to my mum i could never have an abortion, but my boyfriend didnt understand, in my opinion the stress of all the arguments led to a miscarriage. In a way that baby was never meant to be.
So to stop any accidents happening i went on the pill, and i was on my 3rd month, due to re-stock with more soon. I was at work when i got a phone call from my best friend, telling me my boyfriend had been cheating on me - turns out it was true, with a 14 year old tart!
The next two weeks were hell for me, but i couldnt help but have feelings for my boyfriend still, i mean i was young, and he was my first 'love' and with everything that was going on i forgot about the pill. I actually was stupid enough to forgive my boyfriend, and got back with him. Carrying on the relationship as normal, I got back with him in the November of 2005, and over Christmas i began to get severe headaches, and my period stopped, i put this down to me coming off the pill though, untill the next month when i still hadnt come on, but by this time my boyfriend had cheated on me again, and also made threats towards me, he was actually ruining my life, and then i took the pregnanct test...positive.
None of you out there would understand what was going through my head, i went to the doctors with my friends, and they sent me for a scan and i was 8 weeks gone, then we talked through options, and i told them i didnt want an abortion. Then it started to sink in, i would have to tell my ex that i was having his baby at 17 years old, but i hated him, i didnt want anything to do with him again, and the fact that i had part of him growing inside of me was killing me - but i still couldnt kill it, it wasnt the babies fault.
So i told him, and he told me where to go and that i was making it up, i wanted to prove him wrong, but surely isnt bringing a child up in a world like that wrong?
I booked myself in for an abortion, then cancelled. Booked in for another then walked out and then i finally told my mum - she was devestated. And i know i was being selfish, you can say what you like, but i booked myself in for another abortion. I thought if i dont think about it, it wont seem real.
And i did it, i got to the hospital, i cried my eyes out, then i woke up and it was over. But nobody understands the pain i have been in, i wish i never killed my baby and every single day i think about it. I research everything on the internet, i go for counselling once a week but nothing makes it better. I hate myself for what i did, and i know i was selfish, but i made the wrong decision, and unless you are in that position you wouldnt understand.
My babies father didnt even want him, and that kills me even more, it would have been used in arguments which is pathetic.
Everybody is different, but believe me, when your in the position that i was in, the doctors just tell you it will be over soon, they tell you people will understand, they cover up your emotions and then they come back and haunt you.
Please please understand that i am not an evil person, i didnt want to do it, i regret it, i was stupid and foolish and i take the entire blame but there was so much going on inside my head its hard to think straight. I think many others are in my position aswell.
Not everybody is cold-hearted, surely that you must understand.


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Never being there with or without a care
 


Posts: 1 | Posted: 01:07 AM on January 28, 2007 | IP
pink_S2

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i know what you mean. i had an abortion at 17. i wanted an still want my baby so bad... i can't beleive what i did and i feel like an absolute idiot for what i did. i havn't gone a day without thinking about it.

i couldn't do it though. All my life i was anti abortion.. until i was in the situation. i couldn't let my baby into a world where its mothers life was so screwed up. i dnt see my parents, i live with my grandma and a disabled 8year old boy. neither of them could cope with me bringing a baby into the house. i was not in a stable relationship with my boyfriend at the time, i couldn't bring up a baby on my own!!!

life is not as simple as people think it is.


it is not always easy to say .. ok, i want this baby so everythings going to be fine


life sucks and thats it. end of story.

its never that easy..
 


Posts: 2 | Posted: 07:39 AM on March 31, 2008 | IP
SilverStar

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My mother was 18 and on the streets, however rather than kill me she put me up for adoption. I am now 17  almost 18 and am happily in my adoptive families home.


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Darkside Enterprises were the impossible meets possible.

Tread softy and carry a big stick, preferably an AT4
 


Posts: 681 | Posted: 8:16 PM on April 14, 2008 | IP
    
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